I'll always listen to you sing your sweet song

mood: blank

music: Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko

Well, he's gone.  Craig left for his tour yesterday.  He'll be back in two months, but hopefully he'll be making a pit stop here around Christmas.  The apartment's a lot quieter without the perpetual racket that follows him everywhere.  I need a parrot or something.  Something noisy.

Maybe I'll just pull out the radio again.  The thought of a parrot is a little extreme.

Luckily, the semester is almost over, and I've been using the majority of my time lately to study for my finals.  I feel like I haven't spoken to anyone lately except for Sully, who asked me over while he was drunk and then tried to.. I don't know, profess his undying love for me or something.  He was really drunk.  I left.  Spinner, give me a call.  I could use some bestie time.

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mood: busy

music: Brand New - Jude Law and a Semester Abroad

Craig's album launch was awkward spectacular, and the album itself has been playing in my stereo on repeat ever since we got back.  I've got to admit, it's pretty cool having a rockstar around the apartment, even if he's not going to be here for much longer.  Going on tour - albeit, with Justin Timberlake - is a good enough excuse for me.  As long as he doesn't attempt to bring sexy back when he comes back.

Of course as soon as we get together, as soon as things have finally calmed down and there's a chance that I might get some semblance of normalcy in my life, he has to leave.  Eight weeks isn't that long.  Only two months.  It could be so much worse.  He's doing exactly what he's always wanted to do, and I am so happy for him.  I really am.  And it's not like he wants to leave me.  He asked me to come with him.  And I would, if it weren't for school and my job, and not wanting to leave the few friends I've got behind.

I just thought for once I wasn't going to be alone at Christmas.

Anyway, I have major finals studying to do.  Marco, call me if you want to meet up and cram.  I bought a new coffee maker, one that actually works on a consistent basis.  And I even have some of that french vanilla creamer you love so much.  Long live bribery.

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mood: lethargic

music: Camera Obscura - Llyod, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken

I spent the weekend catching up on my classwork.  I've been falling behind on my calculus, and that's usually where Marco gives me a hand but whatever.  I can't expect him to tutor me through my college years.

Besides, it's not like I've had a whole lot of things on my social calendar to commit to.  Anyone who wasn't at the Dot on Friday missed an amazing dramatic performance from Manny and watching my life as I knew it collapse at my feet.  Craig and I are okay.  Jay and I are.. not so much.  Whatever.  I screwed up, I lost someone, it's just something that happens I guess.  Keeping a choke-hold on life never helped before, so I'm just accepting it and moving on. 

I'm not going to date for awhile.  I've got so many more important things to focus on.  Doing well this semester is huge for me, and that means no distractions.  Or at least, as few as possible.  I just got assigned to cover the boys' opening soccer game for the school paper - what a completely wrong match for me, right?  I was going to be there anyway to "cheer" Sully on, so at least I'm not going out of my way.  If anyone else is interested in tagging along, I can probably get ahold of some discounted student tickets.  Just let me know.

The quality of my week has, apparently, struck some sort of weird balance for this place, because between Jess and Sully's baby girl being born in the ravine of all places.  How oddly appropriate for her and Sean and Alex getting engaged?  I don't know what he's thinking.  And pretending to be happy for his sake is a lot more tiresome than I thought it was going to be. it seems like everyone's been getting really great news.

I've got grocery shopping to do.  Later.

Posted at 11:10 am | Link | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Share

mood: sick

music: Ben Folds - Battle of Who Could Care Less

I screw everything up.

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mood: fine

music: Matchbox 20 - Bent

The apartment's really quiet.  I like it this way.  Gives me time to concentrate on my homework.  Marco's been by a few times, just doing his good friend business.  Keeping me from turning into a complete hermit.  I've taken on a few extra hours at work.  I'm trying to get into the university newspaper.  Everything's fine.

I guess the news about Jay and me is out, and whatever.  Last time I checked, I wasn't required to explain myself to anyone.  Most awkward night of my life.  As if it weren't bad enough walking in on the aftermath of Alex and Sean's rendezvous.  Jay seemed as angry as I was.. which was confusing.  I mean, he and Alex have been over for months.

It's hard, I guess, seeing Sean and Alex in a relationship, an actual relationship.  Saying that they love each other.  That was quick.  I don't even know if Jay and I stand in terms of a relationship.  It's not like we've actually gone out or anything.  Maybe that's for the best?  I don't know.

Curiously enough, Sean and I are okay.  We ran into each other and figured it was best to just talk it out and get it over with.  So that's that.  We might even be less dysfunctional than we were before the entire incident.

Alex Nunez, however, better stay the hell away from me.

Speaking of people I no longer associate with, Spin and I had a nice drinking-Ashley-away evening back last week.  Cupcakes and everything.  I.. don't remember what happened.  All I know is that when I went to sleep he was still there, and when I woke up he was gone.  Not that anything could have actually happened.  We're just friends.  Best of.  Besides, he would have told me if something was off.  Haven't seen him since.  We should fix that.

Sully and I hung out for awhile last night.  It was nice seeing him again.  He's driving me crazy.  Telling me how much he loves me, then telling me he's going to get back together with Jess.  And that if they get together again, it's going to be for good.  I will never be able to stand the thought of the two of them together, whether she's having his kid or not.  I don't care what he says, if it weren't for her we'd still be together.

Right now though, I really just want to be happy with what I have.  And I am.  Who would have thought that Jay Hogart would make me happy?

My parents didn't call with any plans for Thanksgiving, so it ended up just being me and a supersized meal from McDonalds.  Not a bad deal, saves me from awkward dinner conversation and having to tell them the same things about school over and over again.

Happy holiday.

Posted at 11:25 pm | Link | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Share

mood: efficient

music: Matchbox 20 - All I Need

Let me be the first to announce that Alex Nunez is, apparently, no longer a lesbian.

Go figure.

I at least feel vindicated, having thrown her shit out the window and changing the locks.

I don't miss her.

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mood: blah

music: The New Pornographers - Graceland

The fridge is empty again.  Alex?  It's your turn.  If you make me go shopping again I promise the only thing we will have to eat for the next week will be saltines and ice cream, and I won't even get the kind you like. 

School's started, and it's definitely proving to be a lot more hectic than I thought it was going to be.  The commute to UoT isn't bad, though I admittedly could do without the creepy old men staring at me on the bus.  Most of my time the past couple weeks has been spent either at class or at work.  Or with Jay?  I actually really enjoy spending time with him.  Weird, right.  It's just the sneaking around part that sucks.  I can't stop thinking about how much it would hurt Sean if he knew.  And Alex?  I try not to think so much about what her reaction would be, because it involves me being ripped to shreds.

Sully threw a notoriously sullyesque yacht party yesterday.  It was a nice time, aside from the emotional bomb I had dropped on me by my best friend and the utter skankyness of a select few of the partygoers.

..Oh wait.  That was really all there was to it, wasn't it?  Guess it wasn't such a nice time afterall.  My mistake.  I despise boats.

I don't know what Spin was thinking, trying to have a relationship with her.  It was obvious that she's still into Sully, even before Sean and I caught her practically trying to launch herself into his pants.  Is there something in the London water that just turns people slutty?  She'd better come clean to Spin soon, or I'll do it for her.

I was proud of Sully, though.  He actually did the right thing for once.

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